Considering Adoption? We can help.

 

Adoptive Parents: Separate Expectations From Reality

Building Families through Adoption!

Generally, most prospective adoptive parents (“PAPs”) are obsessed with the immediate desire to become parents.  After trying for many years to have a biological child, these PAPs are turning to adoption as their final option. By the time they reach an adoption professional, they have waited too long, spent too money, and are ready to parent right now – but are they??

Education is the Key to Successful Adoption!

The single most prominent impediment to the adoptive parents’ completion of an adoption plan is their inability to separate their expectations from their own reality. If a PAP has been properly educated, either through self-help or through an adoption counselor, there is an excellent chance the adoption plan will run smoother. On the other hand, if a PAP fails to properly prepare for an adoption plan, their expectations will greatly exceed any reality with regard to all aspects of the plan.

Birth Mothers are Not Perfect!

The biggest area of concern pertains to the PAP’s unrealistic expectations as to birth parents.  Because of negative stories in the press and on the Internet concerning the involvement of birth parents with money or drugs, PAPs have many negative preconceived notions about birth parents.  To the contrary, virtually all of the birth mothers that we work with, although not perfect, embody a strong ethical and moral principle – for them, adoption is all about finding the right family for their child!

Appreciate the Birth Mother’s Perspective!

Understanding the birth parents’ perspective plays a key role for a successful adoption plan. To gain insight into the birth parents’ viewpoint, open communication is essential. As most of our adoptions are semi-open, it is critical for PAPs to regularly communicate with birth parents during the pregnancy.

Each communication should center on the birth parent – not the unborn child and not the adoptive parents.  Let the birth parent drive the conversation, if possible.  Birth parents are concerned about their living situation, their transportation, their employment, their relationship with family and friends.  They are consumed, and rightly so, with issues of self and it is such issues which must be the primary focus of all PAP communication.

Adoptive Parents and Birth Mothers have similar Goals!

The goal for birth parents and PAPs should be the same – successful completion of an adoption plan. The best way to achieve success for a PAP is to become as educated as possible about the adoption process and the perspective of the birth parent. This will enable the PAP to separate their expectations from their own reality.

Leave a reply

Adoption Saves Lives

Jacksonville Office
3821 Atlantic Boulevard
Jacksonville, Florida 32207
(904) 348-6400
Contact Us

Daytona Beach Office
140 South Beach Street, Suite 302
Daytona Beach, Florida 32114
(386) 673-1234
Contact Us


The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely upon advertisements. Before you decide, ask us to send you free written information about our qualifications and experience.

Shorstein & Kelly, Attorneys at Law publish this website for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide legal advice, and one should not act upon any such information without seeking professional counsel. Use of and access to this website does not create an attorney-client or any other relationship between the user or browser and Shorstein & Kelly. Please do not send us any confidential information unless a formal attorney-client relationship has been established.

The attorneys at the law office of Shorstein & Kelly, Attorneys at Law are licensed to practice in the state of Florida.

Shorstein & Kelly is not associated with any linked entity described in this website. We have attempted to provide users of this website access to other websites of possible interest by installing hyperlinks to such sites. We cannot be responsible for the accuracy or completeness of any of the information that may be accessed from this website. Shorstein & Kelly makes no endorsement of the views or opinion stated in linked websites.

Copyright © 2019 Shorstein & Kelly, Attorneys at Law, P.A. Sitemap